Rites of Passage - Memorial
Memorial services are a celebration of life. The life of the person who has passed on is lifted up, as honestly as possible, as way to enrich the lives of those who remain among the living. The sharing of stories, of memories, helps the bereaved connect with new understandings of, and appreciation for, the unique complexity of each person's life.
MEMORIAL SERVICE
Held in honor of a member of the homeless community
OPENING WORDS
It is said that grief joins together all of humanity. Loss and grief are an EXPECTED part of being human, no matter how hard we may try to avoid them.
But the fact that they ARE to be expected doesn’t minimize their impact! Death, loss and grief always involve pain, and are always unexpected
INTENTION
We are gathered here today to honor the memory of NAME, a member of a large caring community of friends, many of whom came into his life through the NAME Community Center and the NAME Center.
Name died on February 10th after a long battle with his health. He leaves behind those who were touched by him, who cared about him, and who grieve his loss. This gathering, in response to his death, is also a celebration of Life.
MEANING MAKING (The nature of life & death)
We all know and accept, as best we can, that death must and will come to each of us. We know that while it CAN mean a release from suffering for the one who has suffered, it always means that those left behind are left with the painful task of picking up the pieces.
There are so many emotions connected to the experience of a death like Name’s: grief, anger, fear, guilt can all be among them. Each of these, and others, are a normal response…a sign that one’s own life has indeed been truly touched by the life of another! Sometimes the feeling is one of shock, of being numb. This, too, is a normal response.
As we join together to face the complicated reality of Name’s life and death, let us remember that he has brought us together. He has brought us to this place, to explore and reclaim the mystery of Life together.
REFLECTION OF NAME
Name was 54 years old when he died just over a week ago. He had struggled for quite some time with his health, going in and out of treatment, especially in this last year. But there was more to Name than this. In younger years Name had been a security guard in San Diego, where his brother and sister live. Somehow he found himself caught up in an addiction that followed him to Los Angeles and Santa Monica, to the streets that became his home.
Here he got to know and was known by many people, was given the nickname “NAME”, and was considered a kind of “patriarch.” He has been described as “cantankerous and snappy”…but with a gentle spirit that often was only revealed when he was challenged.
Name often showed himself as rough and strong willed…but underneath he was known as a good guy, an honest man, who would “tell you exactly what was on his mind!”
That’s how he is remembered by many: a good guy, an honest man, a man with a sense of humor that touched many, many people!
Name’s life was not an easy one and he was faced with a lot of difficult decisions -- some of which he was proud of! He was proud that alcohol was not one of the things that had control over him. And he was proud of his ability, in the last year, to come off the streets – to get help. This took courage, a kind of courage that cannot be taken for granted.
SILENT REMEMBERING
In his death, Name is remembered in part for his struggles, his courage, his straight-forward honesty, his willingness to be a friend.
What is important to remember is that EVERY life is unique and meaningful – and so is every relationship. EACH of you have memories and feelings that are a unique reflection of Name’s life and of YOUR relationship with him.
Let us now enter into a time of shared silence.
Let THIS be a time to get in touch with your OWN memories of Name -- those times when he revealed something of himself to you, offered YOU a chance to be real with him, gave YOU something to think about and remember.
Let us hold these memories for a short while in silence, and then you will be invited to share some of them, if you wish. (be in silence)
SHARED REMEMBERING
Some of you may feel moved to share out loud a personal thought, a story or a memory about Name, or the FEELINGS that his life and his death inspire in you.
If so, please tell us your name…and know that this sharing brings with it the gift of healing. (await stories) Through the sharing of our stories and memories comes the gift of healing. So may it be.
AFFIRMATION & FAREWELL
The following reading is from the Union Prayer Book – affirming the journey of life, even though it must end in death.
“Birth is a beginning and death is a destination and life is a journey.
From childhood to maturity, and youth to age
From innocence to awareness and ignorance to knowing
From foolishness to discretion and then perhaps to wisdom;
From weakness to strength or strength to weakness and often back again;
From health to sickness and back, we pray, to health again;
From offense to forgiveness, from loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude, from pain to compassion, and grief to understanding.
From fear to faith; From defeat to defeat to defeat
Until, looking backward or ahead, we see that victory lies
Not at some high place along the way
But in having made the journey stage by stage, a sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning and death is a destination and life is a journey,
A sacred pilgrimage to life everlasting”
(The Union Prayer Book)
Name’s journey has ended, and so it is right and fitting that we, as the keepers of his memory, should at this time offer him our farewell. Together and out loud let us say farewell to Name in our own words: (await out loud goodbyes…)
With this farewell we honor HIS life and recommit to the unknown days and years granted each of us.
PRAYER
Let us pray: Gracious God, Divine Spirit: we have joined together in the memory of Name, whose life is no more. May we grieve well his passing out of our lives and, in time, come to a place of TRUST in his eternal rest…and a place of deep gratitude for having had the privilege of knowing him.
May we remember the gifts of his unique presence among us, and know that EACH life and each relationship is like this…precious...to be honored and openly valued. May our hearts be expanded to hold this truth, and may our lives and all our relationships be better for it. In the name of this Truth let us together say: Farewell and Amen.
BENEDICTION
Please stand now and join hands, receiving these words intended for you:
May the peace that passes all human understanding be yours now and forever.
And may your lives be forever touched by loving compassion, beauty, joy, courage and deep satisfaction.
May these be freely shared among you, as you enter again into the world of the living. So may it be. Go in Peace.
MEMORIAL SERVICE
Held in honor of a member of the homeless community
OPENING WORDS
It is said that grief joins together all of humanity. Loss and grief are an EXPECTED part of being human, no matter how hard we may try to avoid them.
But the fact that they ARE to be expected doesn’t minimize their impact! Death, loss and grief always involve pain, and are always unexpected
INTENTION
We are gathered here today to honor the memory of NAME, a member of a large caring community of friends, many of whom came into his life through the NAME Community Center and the NAME Center.
Name died on February 10th after a long battle with his health. He leaves behind those who were touched by him, who cared about him, and who grieve his loss. This gathering, in response to his death, is also a celebration of Life.
MEANING MAKING (The nature of life & death)
We all know and accept, as best we can, that death must and will come to each of us. We know that while it CAN mean a release from suffering for the one who has suffered, it always means that those left behind are left with the painful task of picking up the pieces.
There are so many emotions connected to the experience of a death like Name’s: grief, anger, fear, guilt can all be among them. Each of these, and others, are a normal response…a sign that one’s own life has indeed been truly touched by the life of another! Sometimes the feeling is one of shock, of being numb. This, too, is a normal response.
As we join together to face the complicated reality of Name’s life and death, let us remember that he has brought us together. He has brought us to this place, to explore and reclaim the mystery of Life together.
REFLECTION OF NAME
Name was 54 years old when he died just over a week ago. He had struggled for quite some time with his health, going in and out of treatment, especially in this last year. But there was more to Name than this. In younger years Name had been a security guard in San Diego, where his brother and sister live. Somehow he found himself caught up in an addiction that followed him to Los Angeles and Santa Monica, to the streets that became his home.
Here he got to know and was known by many people, was given the nickname “NAME”, and was considered a kind of “patriarch.” He has been described as “cantankerous and snappy”…but with a gentle spirit that often was only revealed when he was challenged.
Name often showed himself as rough and strong willed…but underneath he was known as a good guy, an honest man, who would “tell you exactly what was on his mind!”
That’s how he is remembered by many: a good guy, an honest man, a man with a sense of humor that touched many, many people!
Name’s life was not an easy one and he was faced with a lot of difficult decisions -- some of which he was proud of! He was proud that alcohol was not one of the things that had control over him. And he was proud of his ability, in the last year, to come off the streets – to get help. This took courage, a kind of courage that cannot be taken for granted.
SILENT REMEMBERING
In his death, Name is remembered in part for his struggles, his courage, his straight-forward honesty, his willingness to be a friend.
What is important to remember is that EVERY life is unique and meaningful – and so is every relationship. EACH of you have memories and feelings that are a unique reflection of Name’s life and of YOUR relationship with him.
Let us now enter into a time of shared silence.
Let THIS be a time to get in touch with your OWN memories of Name -- those times when he revealed something of himself to you, offered YOU a chance to be real with him, gave YOU something to think about and remember.
Let us hold these memories for a short while in silence, and then you will be invited to share some of them, if you wish. (be in silence)
SHARED REMEMBERING
Some of you may feel moved to share out loud a personal thought, a story or a memory about Name, or the FEELINGS that his life and his death inspire in you.
If so, please tell us your name…and know that this sharing brings with it the gift of healing. (await stories) Through the sharing of our stories and memories comes the gift of healing. So may it be.
AFFIRMATION & FAREWELL
The following reading is from the Union Prayer Book – affirming the journey of life, even though it must end in death.
“Birth is a beginning and death is a destination and life is a journey.
From childhood to maturity, and youth to age
From innocence to awareness and ignorance to knowing
From foolishness to discretion and then perhaps to wisdom;
From weakness to strength or strength to weakness and often back again;
From health to sickness and back, we pray, to health again;
From offense to forgiveness, from loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude, from pain to compassion, and grief to understanding.
From fear to faith; From defeat to defeat to defeat
Until, looking backward or ahead, we see that victory lies
Not at some high place along the way
But in having made the journey stage by stage, a sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning and death is a destination and life is a journey,
A sacred pilgrimage to life everlasting”
(The Union Prayer Book)
Name’s journey has ended, and so it is right and fitting that we, as the keepers of his memory, should at this time offer him our farewell. Together and out loud let us say farewell to Name in our own words: (await out loud goodbyes…)
With this farewell we honor HIS life and recommit to the unknown days and years granted each of us.
PRAYER
Let us pray: Gracious God, Divine Spirit: we have joined together in the memory of Name, whose life is no more. May we grieve well his passing out of our lives and, in time, come to a place of TRUST in his eternal rest…and a place of deep gratitude for having had the privilege of knowing him.
May we remember the gifts of his unique presence among us, and know that EACH life and each relationship is like this…precious...to be honored and openly valued. May our hearts be expanded to hold this truth, and may our lives and all our relationships be better for it. In the name of this Truth let us together say: Farewell and Amen.
BENEDICTION
Please stand now and join hands, receiving these words intended for you:
May the peace that passes all human understanding be yours now and forever.
And may your lives be forever touched by loving compassion, beauty, joy, courage and deep satisfaction.
May these be freely shared among you, as you enter again into the world of the living. So may it be. Go in Peace.