Grief and Growth in a Time of Pandemic: From Surviving to Thriving
Facilitators: Stefanie Etzbach-Dale & Sonya Sukalski
June 3rd-July 1st, 2020
Every Wednesday, via Zoom, from 7:00 pm-8:00pm PST,
Space is limited. Please fill out and email the completed form to TendingSpirit@gmail by 05/30. Applications will be processed on a first-come, first-served basis. You will be receive confirmation of receipt, and notification of acceptance OR placement on a waiting list. Please withhold making your fee donation until you have received notification of acceptance of participation. Links to the Zoom portal will be sent to confirmed participants prior to the first meeting. Refunds will not be possible.
APPLICATION - SECTION A. - About you
(Please print clearly & scan/email completed form to TendingSpirit@gmail.com.)
- Name: ___________________________________________________________
- Email: ___________________________________________________________
- Phone: ____________________________________
- How did you hear about this retreat?
- What attracts you to this retreat? What are your goals or hopes?
- What activities or ways of thinking can you identify that are lifting your spirits or helping you feel grounded these days?
- What else would you like us to know about you?
- Can you commit to being in a quiet/private space for the duration of the weekly meetings?
(Circle one) Y / N
- Do you have the necessary technology and experience to successfully utilize the Zoom platform?
(Circle one) Y / N
APPLICATION - SECTION B. About fee donation
Only a certain number of applicants can be accommodated. Apply early and wait to receive confirmation of your acceptance as a participant BEFORE submitting the fee donation.
- No fee donation payment until you receive confirmation of participation
- Those we are unable to accommodate can opt to be placed on a waiting list for early admission to future retreats.
- You will receive notification by May 30th of having been accepted as a participant or of having been placed on a waiting list.
- All fee donation options (see below) benefit Covid-19 relief efforts
- Refunds will not be possible.
FEE DONATION PAYMENT OPTIONS
- You will be notified of having been accepted as a participant (or of having been placed on a waiting list) by May 30th.
Please indicate the name of the non-profit to which you will be donating the $100 fee directly upon confirmation of participation: _______________________________________
- Please indicate whether you prefer to submit $110 (fee plus handling charge) to TendingSpirit via paypal, so that we can take care of sending it on to an organization responsive to needs arising from Covid-19
- Scholarship assistance: no one will be turned away for lack of funds. If you are experiencing financial hardship and cannot pay the full amount, or any amount, at this time, simply indicate so here.
(Circle one) Y / N
APPLICATION - SECTION C. - About what will help this group experience
This is not therapy and does not replace any existing therapeutic relationships. Our facilitators are professional clergy with decades of experience bringing care, compassion, and wisdom to people of all backgrounds (please see facilitator information provided). Participation relies upon your own willingness to honor Touchstones, Technology Tips, and Boundaries for our time together.
The following set of Touchstones, Technology Tips, and Boundaries will help assure a supportive environment for all participants and minimize some of the disruptions that can occur when utilizing online platforms. Please read this carefully and sign at the bottom to indicate your intention to honor these.
(Adapted from: http://www.couragerenewal.org/touchstones/) © Center for Courage & Renewal, founded by Parker J. Palmer.
- Give and receive welcome. People learn best in hospitable spaces. In this circle we support each other’s learning by giving and receiving hospitality.
- Be present and participate as fully as possible. Be here with your doubts, fears and failings as well as your convictions, joys and successes, your listening as well as your speaking.
- What is offered in the circle is by invitation, not demand. This is not a “share or die” event! It may take time to develop your thoughts. You are free to “pass”.
- Speak your truth in ways that respect other people’s truth. Our views of reality may differ, but speaking one’s truth in a circle of trust does not mean interpreting, correcting or debating what others say. Speak from your center to the center of the circle, using “I” statements, trusting people to do their own sifting and winnowing. No cross-talk please.
- No fixing, saving, advising or correcting each other. This is one of the hardest guidelines for those of us who like to “help.” But it is vital to welcoming the soul, to making space for the inner teacher.
- Learn to respond to others with honest, open questions. Do not respond with counsel or corrections. Using honest, open questions helps us “hear each other into deeper speech.”
- When the going gets rough, turn to wonder. Turn from reaction and judgment to wonder and compassionate inquiry. Ask yourself, “I wonder why they feel/think this way?” or “I wonder what my reaction teaches me about myself?” Set aside judgment to listen to others—and to yourself—more deeply.
- Attend to your own inner teacher. We learn from others, of course. But as we explore poems, stories, questions and silence in a circle of trust, we have a special opportunity to learn from within. So pay close attention to your own reactions and responses, to your most important teacher.
- Trust and learn from the silence. Silence is a gift in our noisy world, and a way of knowing in itself. Treat silence as a member of the group. After someone has spoken, take time to reflect without immediately filling the space with words. Leave space for those who may not yet have spoken.
- Observe deep confidentiality. Safety is built when we can trust that our words and stories will remain with the people with whom we choose to share, and are not repeated to others without our permission.
- Know that it’s possible to leave the circle with whatever it was that you needed when you arrived, and that the seeds planted here can keep growing in the days ahead.
2. TECHNOLOGY TIPS
Participation requires access to and familiarity with Zoom and FaceBook, and the ability to commit to being in a quiet, private space during live sessions.
- Mute your microphone
To help keep background noise to a minimum, make sure you mute your microphone when you are not speaking.
- Be mindful of background noise
When your microphone is not muted, avoid activities that could create additional noise, such as shuffling papers.
- Position your camera properly
If you choose to use a web camera, be sure it is in a stable position and focused at eye level, if possible. Doing so helps create a more direct sense of engagement with other participants. Try to find a place that is well lit, and doesn't have bright backlighting (so we can see you!)
- Limit distractions
You can make it easier to focus on the meeting by turning off notifications, closing or minimizing running apps, and muting your smartphone.
- Avoid multi-tasking
You'll retain the discussion better if you refrain from replying to emails or text messages during the meeting and wait to work on that PowerPoint presentation until after the meeting ends.
- Familiarize yourself with the chat function, gallery/speaker views, renaming yourself (offer pronouns along with your name), etc.
- If you get a message from Zoom that your connection is unstable, sometimes stopping sharing your video can help, so know how to catch this before your connection drops.
- Prepare materials in advance
Behavior or content deemed inappropriate or offensive, including advertisements, solicitations, unrelated, lewd, violent, or discriminatory language or images will not be permitted. Such content will be removed and violators blocked from participation at facilitators’ discretion. Group participants are urged to notify facilitators of any questionable behavior or content immediately and directly.
Please sign to indicate that you understand the focus and limitations of this retreat and that you intend to honor these touchstones, tips and boundaries:
Name: _____________________________ Date: _______________
Please email the completed form to TendingSpirit@gmail. Space is limited. Applications will be processed on a first-come, first-served basis. You will be receive confirmation of receipt, and notification of acceptance OR placement on a waiting list. Please withhold making your fee donation until you have received notification of acceptance of participation. Refunds will not be possible.